Your Kids Aren’t Ignoring You, They Just Don’t Feel Connected

And you don’t even know how it happened.

Photo by Kristin Brown on Unsplash

Let me tell you a story. It’s a Monday morning. My wife has already left for work and I’m rushing to get both me and our three-and-a-half year old dressed. I’m off to the office, she’s off to nursery (although we all just call it “school”).

Things actually start off well, but pretty soon she’s naked and pulling the blanket back over herself, insisting that she doesn’t want to get dressed, that she wants to “stay with the house”.

I patiently explain that she has to get dressed. She has to go to school, I have to go work.

“No, daddy,” she replies through tears, “you can’t go to work yet, you stay with me.”

Using my best empathetic voice, I tell her I wish I could stay with her (I really do) but I don’t have a choice. Getting nowhere with getting her dressed, I decide to leave her with her clothes nearby and go downstairs to get my stuff ready for work, expecting that when I return a few minutes later she will be calmer.

This did not work.

Within a couple of minutes I hear tearful shouting from the top of the stairs. “Daddy where are you? You need a hug! You need a hug, Daddy!”